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The past week or so has been harder for me than most. 😅🥱
I wrote an Instagram post about feeling a bit poured out.
Which I don’t see the same as being tired.
Yes, it feels like tired, but it‘s a bit different, too.
I’ve had some truly amazing weeks. Lots of opportunity.
🙌🏻 GREAT coaching sessions.
🎤 Live in-person speaking engagements–so fun.
📝 Writing and shipping 💌mary-muses.
🥰 Some long, wonderful conversations with all the people I love most.
💃🏻😳 Decided to go to a conference that has me excited and intimidated all at once!
But even with all of that, I was feeling…
Sigh.
I knew it wasn’t because the enthusiasm and great things of the prior weeks weren’t valid and real.
But sometimes life gets full and we have to give more than we are taking in.
And sometimes that goes on for a…while.
I like to think of the phrase, “I left it all on the field.”
My son used to play football and I remember seeing him walk off the field after a big game, sweaty and a bit beat up, with a smile on his face. He’d given everything he had. The next few days, though, were all about recovery.
Here’s been the surprise:
My default is energy and even excitement.
And I usually re-charge to that state easily and quickly.
Maybe it wasn’t just physical, emotional and even mental weariness…
Um, duh. 🙄😬
We don’t live on bread alone–we have to feed on God’s Word, too! (Matt. 4:4)
I’ve spent years planting God’s Word in my heart.
What’s in our heart will come out and sustain us.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things.
I have never been a naturally brave or bold person.
When I first became a Christian, I clung to God’s Word like the lifeline it is.
I was brand new in my faith and had started a new job that was starting off…rough. I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to embarrass myself. And I didn’t want to embarrass an extended family member who’d agreed to hire me.
And I remember before I’d go to work reading my Bible and the Lord would show me a scripture or two that I could use. I’d read it and say it to myself and pray it. I remember scribbling it on scraps of paper that I stuck in my pockets to refer to at my desk.
One in particular I remember from that time was from the Psalms–it talked about the Lord making my feet like hinds’ feet so I could walk on my high places. I’d heard our pastor talk about how the animal that is referring to is MADE to climb mountains. Their back feet are spring-loaded so they could bound up steep mountains.
They were literally made to do that.
You are literally made to do your life, too. (Eph. 2:10)
I remember reading that scripture from Psalms and praying I’d be able to finish the work I was assigned and NOT have to (humiliatingly) make the administrative lead stay through lunch to finish my work–that I’d be able to finish it myself. 🙏🏻
My mountain was this accounting bundle I’d get assigned every morning. 🏔️📒
Later, I was a marketing rep for IBM and I was failing at that, too! I started writing down scriptures at the front of my paper planner and at the start of my day, I’d grab a cup of coffee and go hide in a conference room and pray those scriptures out loud.
I remember having to drive to neighboring small towns and pulling that notebook out and reading the scriptures before I’d go into sales calls.
That practice has served me well for decades.
It’s for conquering new things, but also just for…life.
But back to where I began…I’ve been a bit…poured out.
Even after a weekend with food and rest I was STILL dragging.
I guess you could say I’ve been leaving it all on the field.
So I pulled out my BUILD Journal & Dossier from my coaching program–it’s exactly the same pages I provide to coaching clients–and they are the product of exactly what I’ve used over the years that bring me back to…
Who I am in Christ and who I just am.
I spent some time this morning in those pages and I’m, like, already breathing a sigh of relief.
Yep.
That’s who I am.
Filling up that heart again.
Phew.
I highly recommend you start some source documents of your own.
And because I love you–I’ve got some simple starting prompts to help you:
Who am I in Christ?
This is just scripture, sometimes quoted exactly as is and OFTEN personalized.
We’re all orienting to something.
Circumstances badger us.
Fear bombards us.
Our bodies just whine.
All these and more scream for our attention, but we can choose to focus on what God has said instead.
Examples for this section might be:
God makes my feet like hinds’ feet so I can walk on my high places.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
There are great verses in these passages, just as examples:
- Psalm 23
- Psalm 91
- Psalm 34
Um…Mary. I can’t say that. I don’t think any of that is true.
Yes. I get it.
Sometimes there's a pretty obvious divide between what we can see in ourselves right now and what God has said.
But if God put it in His Word, He meant for us to believe Him.
THAT’S why I write these and put them in a place I can review them regularly.
We’re all orienting ourselves to something.
That practice helps us remember God’s character and His love for us and realize it’s not up to us to save ourselves.
Thank God.
Who am I just because I’m me?
We are here to live on purpose, using our gifts and talents and filling out the edges of our lives.
In Genesis 12:2, God tells Abraham, I will bless you and you will be a blessing.
Proverbs 31 describes a woman who reaches out her filled hands to help those in need.
FILLED hands. We all know what it feels like to come up empty, but here I want you to think about what you already have in your hands—where you feel capable, energized and naturally able to contribute...
In other words,
What are you good at?
What energizes you even when someone else would call it work?
What do you naturally bring to other people?
For me, “I like being with people” is true. But “I like helping people clue into who they are in Christ and who they just are” is much more accurate.
Where am I going?
In Mark 4:35, Jesus tells His disciples, Let us pass over to the other side. In this case, they are just getting ready to hop in a boat and cross a lake, but I love the simplicity of the statement:
We’re going THERE.
Direction is more important than speed, and deciding ahead of time where you’re trying to get is incredibly steadying and grounding.
I can want to go to the beach, Alaska, the mountains, see fall foliage in New England, go back to the Pacific Northwest and—obviously—Disney World. 😂
But until I choose one, I'm not actually going anywhere. 😬
This is important for geographical movement, but equally so for our hopes, dreams and aspirations.
Back to my story…
I told you upfront that I’ve been a little depleted–
And in this case–I went first to the obvious answers.
Rest, and food and watching a bit too much tv. 📺
Usually that does it.
And you wouldn’t think that reading a few pages in a notebook would be the difference maker…especially ones I refer to frequently.
And yet.
As I read through those pages again, I could feel myself coming back online.
Oh yeah.
That’s who God is.
That’s what He says about me.
That’s what He put in me.
That’s where I’m going.
THAT’S who I am.
I didn’t need another pep talk.
I didn’t need a new plan (though believe me. My brain tried HARD to convince me otherwise.)
I needed to get re-established in my actual identity.
Which is good timing, because I’m packing my bags to go do something this week that’s pretty far outside my comfort zone.
And believe me–those source documents will be making the trip with me!
So I’ll leave you with the same three questions from above:
Who are you in Christ?
Who are you just because you're you?
And where are you going?
Hugs–
❤️🤗
Mary
P.S. And if you read those three questions and thought,
Um, Mary...that's kind of the problem. I DON'T KNOW,
that's exactly the kind of thing I love helping women sort through. If you'd like to talk through where you are, what's feeling fuzzy and what might be next, you can grab a Clarity Call with me here. ❤️
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