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“It’s not the tasks.
It’s the decisions.
That’s what makes us so tired.”
That’s the truth bomb I dropped a few weeks back during one of my membership meet-ups.
But I probably should give you the set-up:
We were talking about being overwhelmed–and I went through this long-winded explanation of how I often use ChatGPT to help me get my millions of tasks and ideas wrangled and executable.
It was good.
But then one of my members said, “Oh yeah. My husband and I used AI last week because we didn’t know what to do with some plants in our yard.”
She went on to explain how she didn’t even know what they were so she took a picture and gave some pertinent details, put it into Claude and asked for a schedule–when to prune and how to prune along with some general care information. She got all she wanted and more!
A far more concise and specific example than what I’d said, but whatever. 🙄😏
But isn’t that the way it so often works?
You spend all this time where you’ve got this thing lurking over there that needs addressing in some sort of way.
You’re not quite sure how to tackle it.
You’re not quite sure what you want.
It secretly makes you feel a little ____
(and I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you how these things can make ME sometimes feel and maybe you can relate?)
It secretly makes ME feel a little
- Stupid
- Behind
- Ashamed (why haven’t I gotten to this?)
- Angry (why do I have to do this anyway?)
- Resistant
(I’ll get to it later. It’ll be easier then.
Some future version of me will know what to do.
And what that really means–I’ll do it when I have no choice, or if I’m lucky not at all ever.)
And often–the actual work takes far less time than expected.
This is speaking to me right now.
It is the latter half of October. Oh my. Frankly, oh crap.
I’m swimming in tasks.
ALL my current projects feel crucial, important and urgent.
(That Eisenhower matrix has been consulted and does me no good.)
I’m simultaneously excited and low-key freaking-out-but-trying-not-to for the end of the year with some travel snuck in along with hosting all the holidays.
I believe we all have ways we tend to operate and approach life.
They are our greatest strengths.
But used wrongly or over-worked they can also become our greatest weaknesses.
THAT’s why I love studying strengths. Helping people recognize and engage with what’s in them.
Knowing who we are and then deploying those gifts on purpose is how we are meant to live!
Here’s how that’s working for me in real time:
I’m GREAT at thinking up ideas–really good ones!
My not-strength?
I’m not-task-oriented and even as I’m trying to execute what I just thought up one sentence ago, that original idea will give birth to MANY little idea babies and I’d much rather chase those than trudge through the implementation of the first brilliant plan.
Oh–and–every one of those little idea babies brings along a whole new set of decisions.
It’s seriously exhausting.
Remember?
It’s not the tasks.
It’s the decisions.
That’s what makes us so tired.
God’s got me, though.
Here is a favorite Bible passage:
…and Christ shall shine (make day dawn) upon you and give you light.
Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),
Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is. (Ephesians 5:14-17, AMPC)
I LOVE finding scripture passages like this in the Bible.
I feel so seen–God describes here exactly what I want–
(to live purposefully, worthily, accurately…to be wise…to understand and fully grasp the Lord’s will for my life!)
And also speaks to how I sometimes feel instead–
(vague, thoughtless, foolish…)
And here’s the thing.
Scripture isn’t there to just sound nice. This particular passage kinda calls us out even–but even that isn’t the whole purpose.
The Bible is like an owner’s manual–it shows us who we are and what we’re capable of.
So, with that in mind–
Here are my takeaways:
The Lord is there to give us light.
He tells us to live purposefully and worthily and accurately.
We are instructed to be wise, sensible and intelligent.
Here’s how I look at that:
It would not be fair to tell me to do something I’m not capable of doing.
My obedience of saying “yes” to this activates His power to help me do so.
In other words, I can say to this (and any) scripture,
Yes, Lord.
Please and thank You.
Help me see myself in the light of what you said–as wise and intelligent.
I choose to picture myself firmly understanding His will for me and as someone who lives with purpose and accuracy.
That same passage also instructs us to make the most of our time and take advantage of every opportunity.
I’m going to be super honest here.
THAT particular verse has always made me feel a little bit pressured.
But I don’t think it means we can’t have downtime and I also don’t think it means we need to always be hustling and grinding.
But in light of the scriptures around it, I’m seeing something different:
I’m going to speak for me here:
How much time have I wasted just flip-flopping and wondering and avoiding and questioning?
How many opportunities do I miss seeing or simply walk away from because I don’t count myself worthy of them or think I’m up to the task?
That makes these verses feel not just affirming and helpful but also infinitely practical.
Remember where we started?
It’s not the tasks.
It’s the decisions.
That’s what makes us so tired.
After looking at that scripture passage I’m seeing this on two levels:
The practical:
I talked about feeling a bit overwhelmed going into this next little stretch.
I knew this going in and have given myself the gift of time–
Specifically, I’ve kept the last few weeks very light and taken a lot of time for reflection and planning.
Time to consider what’s important.
To think through what I want the rest of this year to feel like.
And to look inside myself and prayerfully determine–
- What feels heavy because I am vague about what I want?
- What feels heavy because there are decisions that have not been made yet?
That has been a turning point.
The holidays aren’t quite here yet–
For me, there were some key decisions about the holidays I didn't want to think about. Ironically, the NOT thinking about them was creating a logjam in my mind. I kept having to maneuver past the unmade decisions in considering…kinda everything.
Here are the questions I asked:
- What do I want?
- What do I want it to feel like?
- Who else is involved?
- What are the days and dates involved?
- What is realistic in terms of travel?
I got those answers and then took the same questions to my husband, Brent.
Together we got even more clarity.
(Seriously. Talk about someone who is really good at filtering through the noise and getting to the cleanest, clearest way forward. THAT’S Brent!)
And then we made the decisions. Booked what we could and now–our calendar is busy and full but my mind is much more quiet.
But there’s another kind of decision I’m thinking about.
The identity level:
What if I took that scripture above and pre-decided to believe it to be true?
What if I decided to see myself as someone who’s living purposefully, wisely and accurately?
Someone who understands God's will and is walking in it?
Because sometimes the decisions we need to make aren't just about what we're going to DO.
They're about what we're going to BELIEVE about ourselves as we do it.
So here's that passage, worded as an affirmation to say out loud to yourself:
The Lord gives me light so I can see clearly.
I am not vague or thoughtless or foolish.
I understand and firmly grasp what the will of the Lord is.
I acknowledge Him in all my ways and He makes straight and plain my paths. (Proverbs 3:6)
And maybe that's where we start.
Not by figuring out every single thing that needs to happen between now and the end of the year.
But by deciding who we're going to be as we walk through it.
So I'm curious—
What's one decision you've been putting off that's taking up far more room in your head than it deserves?
And is there something you've been believing about yourself that's making that decision harder than it needs to be?
Hit reply and tell me. I'd love to hear.
Love,
Mary
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